


this is how it feels to take a fall

by Ford_Ye_Fiji



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Just gonna mark as complete and then add drabbles, Number Five | The Boy Gets A Hug, Number Five | The Boy Has Issues, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, as I make them bc honestly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:08:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26240899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ford_Ye_Fiji/pseuds/Ford_Ye_Fiji
Summary: A collection of the tiny one-shots I’ve written for tumblr.
Comments: 13
Kudos: 189





	1. Winter Soldier Five au

**Author's Note:**

> This was written as direct sequel to e-vasong's response to captainkirkk's post (can be found here and should be read first: https://e-vasong.tumblr.com/post/627598571783454720/captainkirkk-au-where-the-commission-grabs-five )

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was written as direct sequel to e-vasong's response to captainkirkk's post (can be found here and should be read first: https://e-vasong.tumblr.com/post/627598571783454720/captainkirkk-au-where-the-commission-grabs-five )

Five doesn’t know what the fuck is happening, and it twists at his insides like a knife. He stalks through the forest, feeling panicked and confused and wondering why the hell he’d let Diego Hargreeves live.

He has to find Harold. Those are the mission parameters. Nothing else matters. Protect the target. Neutralize threats. Preserve the timeline.

His headache sharpens.

Five runs a hand through his hair, chest hitching as he turns, the trees wavering in the edges of his vision. He can hear the car start up in the distance. Good. Harold Jenkins was leaving. He had, for now, done his job- despite his mistake.

Five stops, feet stumbling in the wet vegetation. 

Or maybe it was Diego and Klaus. The men who had known him. Maybe Harold wasn’t safe yet. Five hisses and pulls at the fabric of space-time, popping back into existence behind a tree. He stares at the driveway warily, waiting for something. He sees Klaus helping Diego into a car, Diego grunting and throwing out loud insults as he is accidentally jostled against the car seats.

Five grimaced.

That, of course, is when he sees Harold Jenkins, and the sister, Vanya. Five sighs heavily, seeing them both talking, just out of sight behind the house.

They still haven’t left?

And then Vanya storms away, shouting something. As she gets closer, to him and to the car with her brothers in it, she becomes more audible, “I’m sorry, Harold. But that was- that was my brother! We can leave in a moment.“

She turns the corner and sees the car, rushing towards it.

Harold throws up his hands and follows her.

Five glares, but he doesn’t dare go in, not yet. He creeps closer, coming up behind the car and eyeing the targets warily. Something pulls in his chest as he sees Diego curse and Klaus tell Vanya about a hospital.

Vanya turns, clearly nervous and unsure, “Klaus, you go to the hospital, I’ve got to- I saw _Five_ , Klaus. He was there!”

Five flinches, how _the fuck…?_

They _knew_ him. There was no denying it. But _how?_

Klaus’s eyes widen from the front seat, as if this means something to him, “You saw little number Five too? I thought I was seeing things but then good ol’ Number Two saw him-“

Diego snaps, the conversation almost making no sense, "The little shit stabbed me!”

Klaus chortles, waving a hand airily, “We’ve all had the urge, Diego-“

Diego twists, a hand pressed to his stomach, blood pooling on the leather seats. Five wants to strangle them and, at the same time, yell at them to hurry up, "I can still stab you from here Klaus.”

Klaus yelps, taking the car out of park, “Right hospital, going! Oh and I swear, Vanny, I thought I saw the big guy out cold out in the backyard! Weird huh?”

Klaus shifts the car into gear with a terrible grinding and Five grits his teeth as it sputters off. In the dossier, it had said Klaus didn’t have a driver’s license.

Maybe this wasn’t the best idea.

Vanya turns, shoes crunching on the gravel as she starts towards the forest. Harold follows her and there is something about that man that doesn’t sit right, “Vanya… whatever’s going on… you know how it’ll end.”

Vanya turns to him, eyes flashing, the hair on the back of Five’s neck standing up, “I’m sorry Leonard, but this is my brother, this is _Five_. This is more important right now.” She bit her lip nervously, turning out towards the tree-line. Five tries to get a better view, of them, shifting slightly as she continued speaking, “I can’t… I can’t lose him again. I mean, we looked for him so much, Leonard. He was my… he was my best friend. And the academy was never the same after he disappeared.”

Five feels something twisting with horror as he watches her.

Leonard asks softly, “I thought you said your family treated you like garbage?” He laughs quietly, sadly, “I’ve _seen_ them treat you like garbage, like less of a person because of ordinary they thought you were.”

Vanya winces and then shakes her head, “He didn’t. I mean sure, sometimes he was an asshole. But he looked out for all of us. He… He even used to listen to me play the violin.”

Five frowns, vision blurring strangely, but for a moment, for a single second, he thinks he can hear the faint strands of music, a faceless featureless girl bent over an instrument, pulling the bow along the strings, elegant and at peace.

The world shifts into startling clarity.

Five creeps forward.

He is not thinking about the asset.

He is not thinking about the mission.

All he thinks is that they are all strangely familiar. They know him. _And he knows them._

Five straightens, brows furrowed in confusion, but drawn forward despite himself.

Vanya turns, eyes widening as she spots him, standing there, limp and covered with blood. Her voice is soft and trembling and so full of _love_ as she asks breathlessly, “ _Five…?_ ”


	2. Human Grace adopts the kiddos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another AU by captainkirkk (post is here: https://captainkirkk.tumblr.com/post/627691956883144704/ok-but-an-au-where-human-grace-adopts-a-13-year)

It’s Diego who ended up meeting Five first.

He pushed open the door, arms full of groceries as he called into the house, “Mom! I picked up some stuff from the store for the family dinner tonight! I hope you don’t mind!”

He paused, waiting for an answer.

There was none and he shook his head, chuckling.

Mom usually buried herself in her work. It might be a nice surprise to start the preparations for dinner for her.

Diego turned into the kitchen, freezing as he saw a small boy there, eyes wide and butterknife frozen halfway to slathering peanut butter on bread.

Diego tensed, hands occupied with the shopping bags, glad he’d brought his knives with him. He doesn’t drop the bags and reach for them though. His mother, after all, had always told him to walk the line between cautious and paranoid.

Besides, it was just a little kid. What threat could he possibly pose? Grant it, he was a strange little kid in a house that didn’t belong to him, but his mother was known to be a bit of a bleeding heart about these things.

Diego took a step forward, “Hey-“

The kid threw the knife. He _threw_ _the fucking knife_ , which impaled itself in the wall beside him with a dull thunk, _and then_ the kid _fucking_ _vanished_.

Diego dropped the groceries, cans clanking and glass clattering. He drew one of his knives, fear filling him. There was a small pop, similar to the sound the kid made when he’d disappeared, except this time behind him. 

Diego turned, throwing the knife instinctively, watching the kid’s eyes widen with surprise as he tried to dodge, and failing (because Diego _was_ an excellent shot, damnit). It cut a thin slice across his cheek and sank itself into one of mom’s paintings.

_Shit._

The kid hissed, “ _Who_ the fuck are you?”

And that gave Diego pause, but still, Mom hadn’t responded- she might be in danger- Diego drew another knife from his holster, letting it slide between his fingers, “Oh no, you answer my questions first. Who the fuck _are you?_ What have you done with mo- Grace?”

The kid frowned, bouncing on the balls of his feet, hands too still despite the danger of the situation, “Grace? I didn’t do anything with Grace! Who are you and why are you here?”

The kid was skilled, Diego realized then. Too skilled. Too used to danger. Too at home with it. And he had _powers_ , like them.

Diego knew who he was.

He was a fucking _assassin_.

He had to be.

(They’d had… encounters over the years. Especially when they’d gotten to be teenagers and decided that what was the point of having superpowers if they didn’t use them for something? When Grace had found out, she’d given them a very important lesson. Tell her next time about it so she could help them do it the right way, and of course, to be in bed by ten. They’d been seventeen by then and thought their mother the coolest ever. Which she was.)

Diego flicked the knife between his fingers, “I’m not fooled, kid. You’ll never make it out of here alive, whoever you are.”

Five readied himself, grinning, as if this was something funny, “Oh yeah? We’ll see about that.”

* * *

Diego cursed unintelligibly, trying not to trip over the upturned sofa, the kid clinging to his back and keeping him in a chokehold. Black spots were rapidly filling up the edges of his vision- he was running out of time… If he could just reach one of his knives-

There was a gasp and then a stern, “ _Boys!_ ”

The pressure loosened and Diego threw the kid off, watching as he warped away, only to reappear next to him, wiping at his bloodied nose and glowering at him. Diego turned, relief filling his chest, “Mom! Thank fuck you’re safe.”

Grace stood there, arms crossed, “Boys, what the hell is going on?”

Diego turned, taking in the state of the house and wincing. There was the ruined painting, the shattered coffee table, the flipped couch…

The kid stood, tense, white as a sheet, his attitude abruptly changed to one of terror, “I apologize, Grace. I thought- I thought that he- he was armed-“

Grace’s eyes softened, and she stepped forward quickly, “Oh Five, I’m not- I’m not upset about the mess.” His brow furrowed and Grace shook her head, “I am upset, but I’m not mad at you, okay? It’s alright.” She eyed the blood on his face and then turned to Diego sharply, “Did you _hit_ Five?”

Diego spluttered, “He- he- Mom, _who is he?_ ”

Five blinked, “ _Mom?_ ”

Diego turned, “Yeah mom- who did you think I was?”

Five glowered, “Someone here to kill me? How the fuck should I know? You came in here armed to the teeth!”

Diego held up his hands, “ _You_ _threw a fucking knife_ _at me!_ ”

Five turned to face him, “You’re a stranger who walked in, uninvited, into the house I’m living in! You could’ve hurt Grace!”

Grace put her hands on her hips, “Boys.”

They both turned back, looking as contrite as possible.

Grace folded her arms, “Diego. This is Five. He’s your new brother. Five, this is Diego. He’s one of the other special children that I adopted. I’m sorry, I should’ve warned you that some of them might be coming over earlier than usual.”

Five lowered his eyes, “Sorry.”

Grace smiled gently, “That’s alright, Number Five. I’m glad you can defend yourself.”

She raised an eyebrow at Diego, before turning back to Five, “Here, go clean yourself up, check on Mr. Pennycrumb, and then we’ll talk more.”

Five nodded slowly and then vanished again. Less than a moment later, Diego heard the sound of feet overhead on the second floor. Grace straightened, “Diego, Five came from a very…. unique home and it’s given him several bad experiences. I don’t know what Reginald did to him-“

Diego scoffed, “Reginald? Your creepy ex? _That_ Reginald? He- _that_ was where you got that kid?”

Grace nodded.

Diego eyed the spot where Five had stood thoughtfully, “Okay. I can understand a little more of it now.”

Grace smiled, “I knew you would. Thank you for being you, Diego.”

Diego gave her a hug, “Thanks, Mom.”

There was a slight cough and they broke apart, Five stood there, managing to look both perturbed and apologetic. A small dog was in his arms, snuffling his chin curiously. 

Grace smiled brightly, “Good! You boys clean this up together! Get to know each other. I’ll start on dinner.”

They gaped, “Wait, mom-!”

She shook her head, "No buts. Now hurry along with it now.”

Diego nodded and Five sighed but nodded as well. As soon as Grace’s back was turned, they both eyed each other warily.

Five huffed and turned, the dog woofing softly, “Might as well get started I guess.”

Diego nodded, suppressing a smile, it was hard to take this dangerous kid seriously while he was cradling a puppy as if it were glass, “Yeah alright little bro.”

Five glared, “Call me little one more time and I’ll slit your throat.”

Diego would’ve seemed taken aback, but his experiences in the past ten minutes had changed him. He was a better person now. Less judgmental of little murderous kids. So instead of being shocked and outraged, he just raised an unimpressed eyebrow and said, “Whatever you say, _tiny_ bro.”

Five glowered.

Mr. Pennycrumb, presumably, barked and licked his cheek, ruining the glower.

Diego might be able to get used to this.


	3. Before the proper time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What if one of the siblings saw young Five running down the street and then immediately disappearing from when he time traveled the first time before landing in the apocalypse"
> 
> (Original post here: https://thesevenumbrellas.tumblr.com/post/627442779233173504/what-if-one-of-the-siblings-saw-young-five-running )

Vanya is standing there, warming her hands on her cup of coffee, shivering slightly in the cold. Her violin is slung across her back, the snow coming down in fluffy white flakes. She adjusts her shoulder strap, feeling it dig in despite the warm coat.

Vanya looks up, weary, tired, and realizes she is less than a block from the academy. She almost wants to cross the street, find her old home, and go in, but it is better that she doesn’t. Still she stands there for a little longer, lingering on old memories. Mostly painful ones of course, but some of them- _some of them_ , glow with the warmth of fondness.

She finally turns to go, or she _would’ve_ turned to go, except for the flash of light. It makes her pause, breath frozen in her throat like the ground below, eyes wide. _Her brother_ stands there on the opposite sidewalk, strolling across it, confident and proud and _wonderful_ , just as she remembered. Little Number Five, still only thirteen.

Vanya opens her mouth, a shout, a scream forming- it’s Five. _It’s Five,_ there, _real_ , wearing that cocky grin, bold as brass, large as life, and _just across the street from her_. Vanya _moves_ , but before she has even taken her first step, before his name can even finish forming on her lips, before her coffee hits the ground, blue energy fizzes around him and takes him from her again.

Her momentum carries her, past the crowd, past the rushing cars which screech to a halt and honk at her as she flies by, uncaring. She skids to a stop, eyes wide, hair wild and slipping out of her bun as she calls, shouts, _screams_ , terribly frantic and so _so_ afraid, “ _Five!_ Five? Are you there?”

There is no answer. 

There are tears freezing on her cheeks, her breath comes in rapid gasps, the shouting having been too harsh on her throat. She blinks away the tears and sniffs, feeling pathetic, had she imagined it? She looks down at the snow and her heart stops, fingers numb.

In the snow and ice, there are still small footprints. _His_ footprints, clear as day, quickly being trampled over by passerby too busy to deal with the crying woman standing on the sidewalk.

Vanya stands there, staring at them for a long time, long after Five’s footprints have been trampled away.


	4. remember remember the fifth of November

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m.... really behind on these jaksksks 
> 
> This one was based off of this post: https://ford-ye-fiji.tumblr.com/post/628273745963958272/op-how-could-u-do-this-five-fell-down-against-the
> 
> (wherein the siblings have no memory of Five bc Reggie’s the literal worst, so he has a much colder greeting than he expected when he returns from the apocalypse)

Five fell down against the ground, knocking the breath out of his lungs. He huffed, pushing himself to his feet, up to face his siblings who he was _much_ shorter than. Five looked down and his nose wrinkled in disgust as he saw himself, shrunk back down into his thirteen year old body. He sighed, realizing his terrible mistake and looking back up at his siblings, “ _Shit_.”

Luther blinked.

Diego stepped forward, “Who are you?”

Five stared.

Klaus half hid behind his brothers wide-eyed. Allison had a protective arm thrown across Vanya. Five frowned, “Excuse me? I wasn’t gone for _that_ long.”

He started forward and Diego brandished a knife, “What was that?” Luther spoke now, “Did you have something to do with Da- Reginald’s death?”

Five looked between them. Surely they hadn’t… what? Five glared, “What the fuck are you two idiots on about? It’s me, I’m back.”

He stepped forward. Luther and Diego stood there steadfast, in his path.

Five’s brows furrowed at this anomaly, “I need food so get out of my way.”

Diego knelt down, “Oh no, you’re not going anywhere until we get some answers out of you shortstack. Whatever that was, that was most definitely not normal. It could be some sort of threat.”

Five raised an eyebrow, utterly unamused, “Threaten me again and I’ll disembowel you with your own knife, Diego.”

“How do you know my name?”

Something was really wrong.

Five eyed them, “You… you really don’t know who I am?”

Diego and Luther both seemed perturbed. He eyed his other brother, “Klaus?”

Klaus shrugged, “I um, I-“ he shrugged, baffled. Five turned, "Allison?” Allison blinked, face blank, except for some sort of motherly sympathy. He turned to his last sibling, breathless, afraid, “Vanya?“

Vanya stared at him, no recognition in her eyes as she glanced between her siblings nervously, "I’m sorry, kid. But we don’t know who you are.”

Five took a step back, “No, you- _what?_ This- this doesn’t make _any_ sense. I’m- you-” he threw up his hands, “But what would- am I in another reality? Did I hop _timelines_? Could that have even _happened_? Is that possible?”

“Hey!” Diego was advancing, cautious, “Answer our questions! Who are you? How do you know us?”

Five whirled, trying to stave off the panic bubbling in his chest, “Who am I? _Who am I?_ I’m your brother. I’m Five. _Number Five._ Don’t _any_ of you remember?”

They stared, confused. Allison asked carefully, “Who would name their kid Five? Who does that?” Klaus added, “We’re all born on the same day little guy, you can’t-“

Five snarled, lashing out with words he didn’t mean, "I’m not a child, Klaus. I don’t need your input right now, you’re useless and high as hell right now.”

Klaus blinked. Luther started, “Hey-!”

Five turned seething, "Shut up, Number One. I am trying to think! How could you not- what about Ben? No, Ben’s dead-“

Luther spluttered, “Number- Number One?”

That seemed to be the turning point for Diego, "Hey, don’t talk about our family like that, whoever you are, leave. You don’t _belong_ here. I don’t know why you think you do. We’re not your family.”

Five clenched his fists, ignoring him, hating the way he tensed as Diego spoke, “That’s why the book never mentioned me. Something happened. Did I even exist- is this just a parallel- but no, I thought the equations were right.” He glanced down and scoffed, “Well, more right than that-“

Diego started forward. Allison spoke quietly, "Diego, whoever he is- he’s just a confused little kid-“ Diego snorted, still moving, "He’s a foul mouthed little shit, sis.”

Diego reached forward, “Look, you’re coming with me, you shouldn’t be here-“

Five smacked the hand away, hissing, "Don’t fucking _touch_ me, Diego.”

Diego’s eyes narrowed, “I’ve had enough of this-“

The door to the house opened and they all turned. Pogo spoke, "Children there’s a-“ he paled, eyes widening as he caught sight of the seventh figure, "Number Five? You’ve- you’ve returned?”

Relief plunged through him, sharp and thick, “ _Pogo_.” He straightened, “Pogo, what the hell is going on around here?”

Pogo stepped forward. Diego asked carefully, “Pogo, you- you _know_ this kid?”

Pogo swallowed, “Ah. That is a difficult answer.” He placed both hands over his cane and sighed, “He is your brother.”

The courtyard erupted into clamor, Five hung his head and stared up at the sky as both Diego and Luther rounded on him, spluttering questions. Allison gaped, Vanya stared, Klaus clapped his hands over his mouth with a gasp and watched.

Pogo held up his hand, speaking over them, “Your father thought it was best that you forget about him when he disappeared when you were thirteen. He swore your mother and I to secrecy. I see no reason to keep it now that he has returned to us.”

Five felt his rage growing, “The old man made them forget about me?”

Pogo nodded, “I’m sorry, Number Five. But they really don’t remember you.”

Five looked at his siblings now decidedly uncomfortable under his gaze. He glanced from the others to Vanya, Luther looking away and Allison studying him with pity.

Five breathed in and breathed out.

Vanya stared at him.

She didn’t know.

They didn’t know.

 _None_ of them knew.

Diego was right.

This wasn’t his family anymore.

Five pulled on the threads of space time and vanished. He’d stop the apocalypse on his own.

The Hargreeves siblings stared at where Five had stood and wondered who they had been to the boy, and more importantly who he had been to them.

Pogo sighed sadly and turned to go.


	5. things change (and so must I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on the anon prompt: "Things change." "Yeah but I never thought we would."
> 
> Original post here: https://ford-ye-fiji.tumblr.com/post/631548274607816704/things-change-yeah-but-i-never-thought-we

Five’s jaw worked, fingers digging into the arms of the chair, his blue eyes cold and flinty, “Why don’t you believe me, Vanya?”

She sighed, brows furrowed, words soft, “Five… it’s just a lot to take in. I mean, it’s been _seventeen_ years. And you know what Dad said about time travel.” 

Five scoffed, “The old man was right about a lot of things. Time travel is a crapshoot, but he was wrong about a lot of things too. He was wrong about how he treated you, he took the wrong approach to training us, and he was wrong about me losing my mind.” He leaned forward, reaching out, “I’m not _crazy_ , Vanya-” 

She sighed, looking away, forever non-confrontational, missing his words for what they were- a plea for help, “I understand that Five, but it’s… it’s too much.” 

Five’s brows furrowed with frustration, “What’s too much? You never had any trouble believing me when we were children-” 

“Thing’s _change_ , Five.” She looked to him and then away, impossibly sad, and Five could suddenly feel the weight of all his years pressing back upon him. Seeing his family again, for the first time in _so long_ had thrown him back to his childhood.

He’d been living off that high for the past few hours- the high of having spoken with his siblings again (idiots every one of them- idiots he would die for). In that foolish euphoria, he’d forgotten how much things had changed. They weren’t thirteen anymore. He was fifty-eight with the momentous task of saving their lives. They were twenty-nine. It had been seventeen years for them. And he… he had _left_ them. 

Vanya rubbed her forehead, “I’m- I’m sorry. Look it’s just been a long night. How about we come back to this in the morning?” 

Five swallowed and nodded, throat dry, “Sure.”

Vanya nodded, glancing back at him once more before moving towards her bedroom, softly closing the door behind her. Five’s gaze moved from the couch and the folded blankets to her closed door. 

_Things change, Five._

Five sighed, shoulders hunching, somehow feeling lonelier than he ever had in the apocalypse, his words low and quiet, “Yeah… but I never thought we would.”

The apartment was silent and still in response.


	6. communication is key

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based off of this post by the lovely disco-tea about certain headcanons regarding Allison, Five, and clothes shopping: https://ford-ye-fiji.tumblr.com/post/631907525453856768/some-people-really-think-five-is-going-to-get-a

Five scowled, arms hunched as he watch Klaus frolic around the clothing isles, his eyes dark and annoyed. 

Allison sighed, “Five… you know, we don’t have to do this. I’m sorry for forcing you out clothes shopping, but if you really hate it this much, I won’t make you.” 

Five stiffened, jaw working, “I’m not- I don’t- I’m _fine_.” 

“Really, Five, you don’t have to pretend-” 

Five took a deep breath, a heavy reluctant sigh, before he faced her, still not quite meeting her eyes, “I don’t- I didn’t have real clothes in the apocalypse, Allison. I wore scraps of shit thrown together. I had to sew a lot of it up myself. And I just- I’m not used to anything else but that and the uniform and even that’s could hardly be called a memory.” 

Allison’s brows furrowed as Five, clearly _wildly_ uncomfortable with the topic of the conversation, plowed on, “I… _don’t_ know how to talk to people. I can’t- communicate. I mean, without anyone, at all, to speak to in the apocalypse, my speaking skills are absolute shit.” Five seemed to be chewing on the words he wanted to say next, earnest in his efforts. She wanted to speak out, to reassure him, but she didn’t dare for fear of him leaving his thought unfinished.   
  
He met her eyes, ending abruptly and awkwardly, “I’m not used to anyone being there. So- so clothes are an untold luxury and _thank you._ ”

Allison’s eyes widened before her lips curved upwards, and she said as gently as possible, “Five…” she had to do this right, and there was _so much_ she wanted to say- but his discomfort… she didn’t want to add to it. She wanted him to be comfortable. So she settled on, “Sure, anytime, Five.”

And, if afterwards, he put up less of a fuss when she took him clothes shopping the next weekend, well, neither of them said anything. 


	7. Five is named after Reginald

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first part of this fic is found here and was written by the wonderful honeybeesblr, highly recommend you go check that out first bc honestly, the fic is not complete without it: https://honeybeesblr.tumblr.com/post/633053785552568320/this-is-a-bad-take-but-what-if-grace-has

Diego stares, watching the space where his brother had just stood only moments before. Grace blinks with concern, “Oh dear, was it something I said?”

Diego can only stand there, feeling off balance, like his feet have been ripped out from under him.

“ _He said he saw himself in your brother.”_

His nausea grows. He can still see Five, angry and spitting, insisting that this was a matter that should be dropped. That he had no name other than Five, that he was- that he was…. Diego’s brows furrows and he manages to force out, “Did Dad really name him Reginald?”

Mom smiles sweetly, “Yes. They really were quite similar, don’t you think?”

And Diego-

Diego _does_ -

All the times Five’s words dripped with a condescending superiority, all the times that Five’s intellect outpaced them all, all the times confidence made him stride forward, assured and secure. The way the weight and tone of their anger mirrored each other so perfectly at times. Even the littlest of gestures, the habits that Five had picked up, his way of moving and talking that he’d learned from the most formative adult in their lives- from their _father_ only seemed to cement it. It made so much sense- too much sense, and Diego, Diego couldn’t _breathe_ -

“ _I don’t want an ‘actual’ name. She didn’t give me a name. That’s. All.”_

Diego desperately sucks in air, turning to catch sight of the coffee Five had left on the table when he’d left. When he’d _fled_.

He stills, trying to calm himself. The coffee is still half finished, left behind in his haste. Because Five… _Five had ran away._

His eyes hardened.

Actually, no.

 _Fuck_ this.

He starts towards the door, mind already trying to come up with the places that his brother might have run, “It’s alright, Mom. I’ll look after… after Five, you don’t worry about it.”

Grace hums, watching him go.

* * *

Diego finds him sequestered in his room, scribbling frantically on sheets of paper. Diego pushes the door slightly open, just watching his brother writing as if his life depends on it. He knows better than to go in before he’s acknowledged.

Five finally speaks, not even looking up, “I told you to go away Klaus, I’m not in the mood.”

Diego steps in, closing the door behind him, “Good thing I’m not Klaus then.”

Five stiffens, knuckles whitening around the pen. He places it down on the desk slowly, voice carefully, perfectly, even, “What are you doing here, Diego?”

“I don’t know old man. Why did you run?”

Five’s shoulders hunch.

He still hasn’t turned to face him.

Five heaves a sigh, words abrasive, “Diego, I’m quite busy and I don’t have time for you right now. Will you please fuck off?”

Diego crosses his arms, leaning against the doorframe, snapping back on instinct, “What’re you going to do, _Reginald_ , make me?”

Five turns, glaring darkly at his brother and Diego can see the hurt and fury and _betrayal_ in his eyes, “That is _not_ my _fucking_ name.”

Diego winces internally, but he pushes back as he always does, “Dad seemed to think so. At one point.”

“Yeah well, I told the old man where he could stick his shit and you- you can eat shit too, Diego-“

Diego sits down his bed, trying to rephrase it how he meant, "I mean, I hate to say this, Five, but Dad kinda had a point. You _are_ a lot like him.”

Five’s face pales with anger and yes, that’s shame and _horror_ as he stands up, pointing, “Get out of my room, Diego. _Get the fuck out-_ “

Diego shakes his head, holding up his hands placatingly, realizing that maybe that hadn’t been the best thing to start with. He really shouldn’t have confirmed what apparently appeared to be one of his brother’s secret fears, "I’m not done talking Five, let me speak-“

Five snarls, trembling, ” _No_ ,“ and his voice cracks there, "I’m- he’s- we’re not-“

Diego grabs his shoulders, biting back on his remarks and trying to deescalate the situation, "Hey, Five, listen to me.”

Five glares, shutting his mouth abruptly, jaw working as Diego continues, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. Yeah, I wish I could help and say you’re a not like him, but the fact is that you _are_. It’s- it’s actually a little creepy.”

Five jerks, voice full of dangerous warning, “Diego-“

"But there’s also a shit ton of differences, Five.” Diego tries to be reassuring, “I mean, Dad never cared about us. Not once. You- you turned back fucking time for us, Five! You turned against the Commission and survived the actual _apocalypse_ to save us. Dad wouldn’t have even bothered working up a sweat. Hell, he probably would’ve just left us for dead and started over somewhere else.”

Five won’t look him in the eye again and Diego leans his head, trying to see his expression, “Yeah, you both had the same sort of temper. You were both really smart… you guys could both be assholes, but Five-“ He speaks earnestly, "Five, you’re not him. You could _never_ be him. And giving you his name was just him being a narcissistic ass trying to take credit for your good traits.”

And shit, fuck, he catches sight of his brother’s face and oh god, he’s _crying_. He made his brother cry, how shitty is that, "Five, fuck, Five, bro, I didn’t mean-“

Five presses the heels of his hands into his eyes, voice watery and suddenly so impossibly fragile, "I don’t want to be _like_ him, Diego-“

Diego cursed again, yanking Five into an embrace, "You’re not little bro, you’re not. You’re so much better than him, okay? You’re not him.”

Five buries his head in the crook of his neck, sniffing wetly. Diego holds tight, “You’re not him, Five. And that’s your name- _Number Five_. Not Reginald, just Five. Our annoying smartass little brother.”

Five snorts, “M'older than you, asshole.”

Diego huffs a laugh, brows furrowed with worry, “Yeah yeah, old man.”

He doesn’t know how long he sits there, holding his brother before Five speaks quietly again, “Reginald really is a shitty-ass name, anyway.”

Diego chokes and he can feel Five grin against him.

They’ll be okay.

Maybe not right now, but they will, eventually.

It’ll be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is here: https://ford-ye-fiji.tumblr.com/


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